If Barbie's so popular why do you have to buy her friends? {Paid Forum Posting!}

This is more of a general forum topic than roleplaying, and probably applies more to non RPG forums: paid forum posting.

To those of you unfamiliar with this {and I was too until I joined forum management boards full of people desperate to jumpstart their forum, and doing all the wrong things to do it} there are people whom you, the proud new owner of a dead forum, pay {either with real money or money earnt on whatever forum} to join and make posts on your board. Theoretically there's no better way to ensure your board will take off in activity and enjoy a prosperous future, right? Right?

Don't waste your time. This is a horrible way to start a forum, because it doesn't start your forum. It doesn't work.

People will join a forum for its community and its quality of either information, availability of goods {if a trade forum} entertainment, and/or friendships. Paid forum posters have no such investment in your board or any desire to be there beyond filling their part of the contract. The post quality is usually low and often these people will cross-post, meaning your forum may not even get much original content in starting off topics. Once they've completed the number of posts they signed on for, they leave, and the lack of genuine interest they had in your board is palpable.

Would you pay someone to be your friend? This is about as effective.

This is not to be confused with promotional contests or other fanfare you may "pay" your own members to do via forum money or real prizes. Those are already-devoted members, and you need to find a few of those.

Let's assume you already have everything on your forum optimised for new members: catchy niche topic, very few boards to start with, etc.

The very best way to get yourself some members is by connecting with people already in your forum's niche. Join some other forums in it, if there are any, join sites pertaining to this niche, meet a few people and drop a line that you have a brand new forum going, just a small community meant for discussion of whatever-it-is. Emphasise that it's a small quiet group where fans of whatever can just get away and chitchat. Don't make it painfully obvious that you're trying to become the next Something Awful or Facepunch or One Manga. That takes time, often years. Start small and fun and quiet because those early months will be the ones you look back on fondly later on.

Enjoy your forum's childhood! You only get one.